


The Recurring Dreams.

by Mister_Writer



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 03:52:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1154530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mister_Writer/pseuds/Mister_Writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>( Set in a modern day universe but makes many references to the Mass Effect universe.) Shepard has been living in a small town called Citadel. The town is nothing more than about two hundred people and is home to the nightclub Omega, the local run-down motel The Prescenium Residential. and not much more. Shepard has been having dreams of another time, another world which he is not used to, but does he want to share them? Are they controlling his life and fears or are his fears controlling him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The first night..

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a one off chapter unless I get around ten Kudos ;D. I know I am being cheeky but if I can get ten it shows me people like it and want it to continue. If people like it then I will add more chapters. I will say that the first chapter won't be as good as the later ones as I am not used to this style of writing however they will improve. Remember to leave a Kudos If you liked and a comment if you want to offer advice or anything. Enjoy :)

A large flash of white light engulfs Shepard's eyes, the loud hissing screams against his ear drums as he is thrown against the ground. He rests an armoured hand on his chest, his gentle fingers rubbing against the red and white N7 logo on his right pectoral muscle guard. His piercing brown eyes stare up at the bleached red sky as Alliance fighters whizz past, blue laser fire light up the sky like a bag of diamonds being sprinkled above. A woman's voice shouted from behind, the sound of fear breaking through her courage "Shepard!" He lolled his head onto his right ear, his vision blurry. The sight of blue armour charging towards him lifted his hopes as he opened his mouth to shout back at her, his voice was weak and a whisper gently fell from his mud covered lips. " Ashley..." His heavy lids blackened his vision before his vision was engulfed in bright flashing lights. He lifted his heavy head, a deep pounding, cracking against the back of his skull a deep roar erupted from his weak lungs. Blurred words rolled into his bleeding ears. " Commander.... Shrapnel...." His eyes rolled over to his right, all went silent. The pain intensified as he saw a man in white armour walk towards him. His arms raised up to his head lifting the helmet away from him and dropping it onto the hard metal floor. Shepard's heart slowed as he saw the owner of the armour. " Kaidan..." Kaidan's auburn eyes just stared at the battered and bruised body of the armour-less Shepard. His stare was not intense, nor was it making Shepard feel worried instead it made him feel safe. 

As Kaidan drew closer a gentle whisper rolled from his tongue, his Canadian accent making each word sound like a love story. " Shepard.." Time continued to slow as he drew closer and closer. He raised his hand, his cold fingers ran across Shepard's cheek as he whispered again. " Shepard..." Kaidan's lips gently pressed against the cheek of Shepard, his hand running across his neck. "Shepard..." Shepard felt his body twist onto his back as his vision kept flickering between a pure darkness and the intense light of the medical room. No features in the room could be seen except that of Kaidan. Shepard felt his body drift out of his control as the room around him began to shift and revolve. Slowly the armour on Kaidan's body began to fade from existence leaving him standing wearing nothing except his N7 boxer shorts. "Shepard." Kaidan began to kneel down but continued to look down at Shepard who had began to feel like he was lying on an old mattress rather than the cold metal surgery table. " It's just a dream..." The last words rolled from Kaidan's gentle tongue, his voice caressing Shepard's ears as the world around him was plunged into darkness. 

Shepard jolted up in his seat, his blue eyes scanning the pitch black room that engulfed him. Sweat poured down his neck and chest. His breathing was deep and quick like he was having a panic attack. His mattress was hard and lumpy against his skin. The thin quilt that lye on top of him made it clear he was in bed, alone, safe. His hands searched the bed for another person but saw no one. His head running with thoughts, who was that man? Who's Ashley? He heard the padding of paws outside of his bedroom door and shouted out to them. "Normandy, here girl." Shepard didn't mind shouting out in his house. In a small town like Citadel, the houses weren't connected most of the time and his was detached from others, it meant it was silent and he could shut his problems away. The wooden door swung open as a large dog padded in. Shepard reached over to a small wooden bedside table and flicked on the lamp. His eyes burned and cowered at the light for a few moments before he felt his bed get heavier suddenly. " Make yourself at home then." He laughed slightly, his heart still racing with the vague dream that he just had. He looked over at the dog, she was a black and white husky and was fully grown. While definitely being female, she was probably the owner of the house though she knew when Shepard wasn't doing good. He scratched her ear as she sprawled in his bed. Shepard laid his head down on the pillow once more, his eyes feeling like matchsticks were prying them open. 

For hours he sat and watched as the black sky grew an inky blue, watching as the minutes became hours on his digital alarm clock. His main though being the man in his dreams. He closed his eyes, thinking of the way that he kissed his neck and cheek. The rubbing of his cheek and neck that made him feel so safe.. BEEP! "Shit!" Shepard was instantly knocked out of this fantasy by the sound of his alarm ringing in his ear. Normandy leaped off of the bed and began to pad around on the floor. Shepard fell onto his back, slamming his hand on the clock to shut it up. He looked at the time, 4:30. He slid out of bed and looked in the mirror. He was a tall man, about 6'' 4. His chest had a thin layer of hair that hugged his frame. However it was not too much, just enough to darken the underside of his abdominal muscles. His fingers traced the scar that glided down his chest from left to right. He thought briefly on the times in the army he was being called lazy because he would fail to wake up at six, but laughed at how four was now a lay in. A hand slipped down his boxers as he sorted his-self out, a ritual for most men when they wake up in the morning. The slight blue tint in the room made it easy to spot the jeans and shirt that was thrown on the back of a chair that rested in the corner of his room. He walked over, his feet slapping against the cold laminate flooring. He grabbed the jeans and slid them up his legs, he looked in the mirror once more. " Yeah, definitely stained." He sighed as he scratched at an oil patch. He grabbed a red shirt and slid it on with ease, he had noticed that the shirt was slightly too small now and hugged his figure showing every lump and bump but Shepard didn't have any other sized clothes and didn't want to drive to Thessia, the neighbouring larger town, to buy more. 

" Come on you lazy dog." Shepard spoke, the tiredness clear in his voice as he slipped on his large socks and black trainers. He walked out of his bedroom and into the medium sized kitchen/living room. A small bar being the divider between the two. Shepard walked up the fridge and opened the door, he reached in and grabbed a can of beer and then pondered grabbing milk for breakfast. " Guess what Normandy? We're going to Tali's for breakfast!" As soon as the words left his mouth, Normandy leaped up, resting her paws onto his chest and licked his face. " Oh get off, when we get back I am taking a shower" He half spoke to Normandy and half spoke to himself as he shut the fridge and walked up to hangars next to the door. He grabbed a leather jacket and opened the door, he looked out at the deep blue sky, the yellow ground showed how hot t his place could be. A long path made up of old footsteps lead straight into town. His mechanics stood in the cente of town, old rusted cars sat in the drive and in the shop. He sighed as he thought of the work he would need to put into fixing them or at least the one he plans to keep. " Come on Normandy, we got a whole day ahead of us." He stepped out of his front door, matching the wooden frame of the house, Normandy followed behind him. She was never on a lead, Shepard trusted her without one and so never used one. Shepard rested his hands in his jacket pockets as he walked towards his town, a sigh poured out of his mouth. " Another day in the same old town."


	2. The blistering heat and the traveller

The blistering heat beat down on Shepard as he stepped out of the door.  He pulled black shades from his right pocket and slid them on his face to stop himself from squinting. He walked through the almost barren wasteland of a town until he saw the 50's diner pit-stop resting in the heart of town. The petrol pumps were getting old, Shepard thought back to the days when this place was a gas station but he smiled softly as he thought of the arguments that had happened over this place being turned into a diner. He rested a hand on the door and pushed it open, a whoosh of cold air engulfed his figure causing his being to shiver in response. His eyes darted to the medium height woman stacking shelves, shoulder length hair and tanned skin marked her as one of his friends. " Miranda, it's your favourite customers!" Shepard shouted over to her as he and Normandy walked towards the counter. He slumped down onto the seat and rested his elbows on the counter, watching as Normandy leaped up onto the neighbouring stool. Miranda climbed down the small steps she was on and looked straight at Normandy, a smile grew on her face as she rushed over to her and began scratching her ears and face. " Oh who's a good girl then? Who's a good doggy? Is it you? Is it you girl?" She chuckled slightly as she released the dog from her grip, Normandy barking in response to her questions with a small smile forming on it's lips.  She looked over to Shepard, she saw that something was up hidden behind that complex face of his. " Sleep well?" She said as she walked over to the coffee machine and poured beans into it ready to make the first three cups for the day. Before he could answer she shouted to someone in the kitchen. " Bacon sandwich and fries, extra bacon!" She smiled as she looked back at him.

" As well as anyone can if they are coming to a diner at what is it? six in the morning?" He chuckled, before he could say anymore, a man slid through the door to the kitchen, his face beaming. " Extra bacon? Normandy's here." The dark skinned man rushed towards the dog and began scratching it's neck and ears. Shepard sighed with a small chuckle. " How come she gets all the attention and cuddles?" All three of the people burst into laughter, Jacob speaking just afterwards a chuckle resonating in his throat. " One day Shepard you will find a nice guy to give you all the cuddles you need." He let go of Normandy, rubbing his hand over his face before turning to face Miranda. He whispered something in her ear before passionately kissing her on the lips. His eyes closing as their tongues danced in each others mouth. Shepard laughed knowing that whatever Jacob said it was along the lines of 'You were great last night.' " Get a room, some of us might get jealous." Again all three of them laughed as Jacob rushed behind to the kitchen to check on the food.

Miranda continued to chuckle before walking around the counter with her arms stretched out wide. " Fine give me a hug then." She continued to chuckle as she thought of it. Shepard stood up, opening his arms he took her in a deep hug... Then tightened his grip lifting her off the ground and quickly walked towards the door. Miranda screamed, her eyes streaming as she laughed at this. " Jacob, your true love's being stolen!" Shepard laughed as he heard Jacob laughing in the kitchen. Jacob slid into the door way. " Be gentle and have her back by nine, I need her." He winked as he snuck back into the kitchen, Miranda doing a sarcastic shocked look. " You're supposed to fight for who gets the fair maiden." Another bellow of laughter flooded from the two of them, the bell in the door way ringing as it drifted open. Shepard lowered the crying Miranda to the floor and walked back over to the counter sitting back on his stool. Miranda spoke with a feint Australian or Norwegian twang to her voice, the ever present humorous tone made her sound like that kind of person who is always happy. " So how can I help you... Sir?"

Shepard was taken back by this, when did anyone call anyone else sir in this town? Since when did Miranda do it? Shepard was always the first to complain about being stared at in a restaurant or diner and so remained seated playing with Normandy's fur as he waited for Jacob to come out. He heard this man speak and was taken back by his tone. " Hmm, I think I will have a... Milkshake and fries if that's all good?" He voice was rather hoarse and manly like someone who could easily take control of a situation however gentle showing he was not violent, or at least didn't sound it. His voice was clearly Canadian and that did nothing to make him sound less cute. Jacob walked out and placed the burger in front of Shepard and the bacon strips in front of Normandy. Shepard's eyes met Jacob's for a moment, Jacob whispered as he drew in close. " New guy, pretty good looking. Wanna' go talk to him?" Shepard was about to say no when he heard Miranda's voice come from behind. He knew when she was planning something and the subtle sign of humour in her voice gave her away. " Did you know that only on Wednesday's we offer two free milkshakes when you sit at the counter? It's to keep conversation flowing. We have a seat right here..." Shepard could hear her steps getting ever closer as she guided this mysterious man to the stool next to him. Shepard scratched his chin, the sound of rustling made it clear he needed to come home, shave and shower before officially starting the day. The sound of someone sliding onto the seat next to him filled his ears, he couldn't ignore him now. That would just be rude. Shepard turned to face the man, he planned what he was going to say before seeing his face. His mind going blank.

Shepard just stared at this man, his lips parted slightly as he took in every detail. The short beard growing, the black hair the was slightly too long but made Shepard want to run his hands through it. The clear brown eyes that enticed Shepard. Shepard's cheeks slipped into a deep pink as he just continued to stare at him. Miranda knew this and quickly butted in. " This is Shepard, he is a bit nervous around new people." She chuckled slightly as Shepard lowered his head to look at his food, his skin getting warmer as he continued to be embarrassed by the very good looking man beside him. The man chuckled, Shepard could see out of the corner of his eye that the man had extended a hand towards him. Shepard took a moment to take it in, he was wearing a black leather jacket with red and white striped down his left arm. The subtlest bit of hair could be seen gliding down his arm and protruding from his sleeve. His hands were large manly hands and while Shepard was no little boy he was still impressed. " Hey, I'm Kaidan."

Shepard reached out with his hand, Kaidan felt soft in comparison to Sheppard's. Shepard relished in someone who had an equally strong grip to him. A small grin grew back onto his lips. His red skin fading slightly as he spoke. " Shepard, I haven't seen you around here before. On a road trip?" Shepard spoke and instantly felt nervous, what if I hit a nerve and he walks away. What if he finds me boring and leaves? No Shepard, keep your cool. " I'll leave you two to it." Miranda spoke before walking away slowly, leaping through the door to the kitchen were the two pairs of eyes continued to watch. It was clear to Miranda and Jacob that Shepard was nervous but Shepard had never been nervous before so this was a sight to see.

  
Kaidan chuckled as he replied. " I guess you could say that. I am just going where the road takes me and this town looked like a good place to stop and get some gas for my bike so here I am." Kaidan and Shepard chuckled. Shepard felt the nerves building up in his stomach as he wanted to ask how long he was staying but it was too early to say that. " Well Citadel doesn't have much, a mechanics owned and worked in by me, this fine five star restaurant.. " He couldn't keep a straight face and laughed slightly as he said it, which was greeted by a plastic fork being thrown at the back of his head by Miranda. " Ow, anyway. This is owned by the cute couple currently staring at us aaannnnddd, OH! the motel down the road is called the Prescenium Residence. It's a nice little motel that I would recommend to anyone staying in the area for a few days."

  
Shepard hoped Kaidan wouldn't notice the subtle persuasion but hoped he would listen to him and stay. Kaidan just chuckled as Miranda came out with two chocolate milkshakes. " Found the person to give your free milkshake too?" Kaidan chuckled and looked to Shepard. " I think I have, if he wants one that is. " Shepard nodded slightly before giving the evils to Miranda who placed the two glasses on the counter. Kaidan then thought on Shepard's words as he sucked the straw. " Well.. I could stay tonight and rest. And since you're the mechanic here, you could have a look at my bike if that's alright?" Shepard went red almost immediately  before nodding quickly. " Yes! I mean I will have a look at your bike. I live next door to the mechanic so you can grab me if I am not in the shop." Kaidan smiled at the blushing Shepard. "Yeah, well I should go check out this motel. If you aren't busy or anything, would you mind showing me the way?" Kaidan said with a small grin. Shepard coughed as he sucked up too much milkshake. He began coughing and spluttering as he thought over what was said.

  
"Yes, I will show you it. I have a truck, I could drive you in and I could put your bike in the back or you could leave the bike in the garage ready for tomorrow and I will drive you around tow. If.... That's what you.. want to do?" Shepard became instantly nervous after saying this and went back to drinking his milkshake. " Yeah, I would like to be driven around town for once instead of doing the driving." A long breath of air came from Shepard as he his nerves were gone. He couldn't explain why but he just felt good around Kaidan.  
Kaidan's voice fluttered from his manly throat once more. " So, shall we head off together?" Shepard's heart stopped when he heard this

 

 


	3. The beginning of something special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I know I said that I was going to wait a week but I am having fun writing these and it allows my imagination to run wild. * Kinky Face.*  
> Hope you enjoy, remember to leave a comment/kudos to show me you like it and want it to continue.

The blistering heat beat down on Shepard. " God, being in there makes you forget how fast it gets hot out here." He chuckled as he slid off his leather jacket revealing his red shirt which hugged his frame. Kaidan chuckled slightly after seeing this display. " It is hot out here, and the temperature's a bit high as well." Was he flirting? Shepard's cheeks grew deep red in colour as he slowly walked over to Kaidan's bike and whistles when he saw it. " Wow, nice ride. Would love to be on the receiving end of all that power." He spoke with a slight grin as he ran his hands over the handles and gently rubbed the leather seat. Kaidan's voice broke the silence. " I can give us a ride to your garage if you want, easier than pushing it." Kaidan walked over to the bike and dropped onto the seat, the bikes suspension dropping for a second. He placed his hands on the handles and nodded for Shepard to join.

"It's just down this road, can't miss it." Shepard spoke as he slumped onto the back of the bike. The loud roar of the engine forced it's way through their ears' as Kaidan gently rolled the handle in his hand. " I would hold on if I was you." Kaidan spoke with a small grin, Shepard blushing again. Shepard's eyes flicked over the mirror, Kaidan was watching, Shepard quickly wrapped his hands around his waist and held tightly as the bike sped up heading back to the garage. Shepard couldn't help it, in seconds he found his hands slowly rubbing Kaidan's strong chest and abdominal area however blamed it on the rugged terrain that surrounded them. Minutes later they pulled up at the old rusted garage and pulled over just in front of it. Shepard got off first, his fingers trailing away Kaidan as he walked up to the large silver door, he grabbed a key and took off the padlock. Bright white lights came form inside, the reflection from Shepard's truck came into view. Kaidan's mouth dropped.

" This is your ride?" Shepard chuckled slightly before knocking twice on the bonnet. " Will be when I can get it all fixed up." Shepard then walked out of the garage and slowly pushed his bike inside, kicking it onto it's stand he walked back outside. " That's mine." He stretched out his arm and pointed to a black ford mustang. Red pin-stripes ran up the body and across the roof. Shepard slowly walked towards his house. " I really need to take a shower, do you mind if I quickly do that before the tour?" He smiled slightly, he knew that while this seemed like a simple question, it would actually be quite a hard one for someone who barely knew Shepard or anyone else in the town. " You can wait in my house or whatever if you don't." Shepard soon became red with embarrassment but hid it behind his grin. " I am fine with that, excuse to get out of the sun." Kaiden spoke with a small grin.

Shepard chuckled slightly as he heard this. " You want to wait for around two, then it is hot." He chuckled as he fumbled with the door, he pushed it open before shaking his head. " I wonder how Miranda feels about looking after Normandy." He laughed as he stepped through the door. He stepped inside and looked around. " Well this is my palace, this is the living room." He did a little spin in his place, throwing his jacket through his bedroom door. " Kitchen is there, that's my bedroom and he Bathroom is there." Shepard pointed out each area. His house was relatively spaced out, with no hallways just a large kitchen/living room and then rooms growing off of that. " I have beer in the fridge, food in the cupboards and if you need me I will be in there." He pointed to the bathroom door. He quickly ran into his bedroom to grab two yellow towels which he carried to the bathroom. He went to shut the door but before he made it fully he stuck his head out. " If anything is wrong don't be afraid to knock on the door." He smiled as he stepped inside.

Kaidan listened, no lock on the bathroom door. He shook his head as he walked over to an old leather couch and falling onto it, his arms and legs sprawling out. He hadn't been so comfy since... Well since Vancouver, before the incident. He heard the shower turn on but didn't want to move, he got comfy on the couch, kicking off his shoes and laying back. He pulled out his phone and watched the screen, as if waiting for something to happen. A red flashing light constantly flickered in his vision. " 37 missed calls." Kaidan never focused on this message, he just looked past it as if it was just the background. He rested his head back and laid the phone on his stomach. His heavy eye-lids slowly closing as he though of this man he had just met. He felt like he had a strong connection, a very close friend maybe. AS he thought on this, his lips perked up as he fell into the black abyss that is sleep.

Shepard stood in the shower, his hands rubbing all over his body spreading the shower gel to every part of his form. His eyes closing, pretending that they were not his own, pretending they belonged to Kaidan. Shepard knew he had only just met him but just seeing him made him feel crazy. He imagined what Kaidan would be doing now, sitting on the couch with a beer watching tele Shepard told himself as he continued to wash himself. After about twenty minutes of washing and rubbing, Shepard stepped out of the shower and began to dry himself with his towel. His skin was damp but he couldn't get fully dry in this room. He went to grab a fresh pair of pants.... "Shit" He whispered as he realized he had forgotten to grab a new pair from his room. Shepard covered his lower half in the yellow towel and snuck out of bathroom.

A sigh of relief filled his lungs as he watched Kaidan sleep, knowing he couldn't get noticed now. He continued to watch, his mind running with thoughts about how cute he looked lying there. He went into his room and began to get dressed, he slid a pair of black boxers onto his legs, he thought about Kaidan, he felt a tight sensation at his waist. He looked down and noticed the obvious lump In his pants. His hand went down to touch himself, his manly-hood leaping to the touch. Shepard closed his eyes, gently slipping his hand into his pants pretending that it was Kaidan's hand and not his own. He slowly rubbed himself, his breathing rate increasing, his heart rate going through the roof as he felt himself draw closer to the edge. He felt his cock tighten in his grip as he blew his load over his chest. " Oh! Kaidan!" He couldn't help but say the name as he went through his climax. He grabbed the towel and whipped himself clean, his eyes looking over the door.  
" Shit!"   
The door was wide open and Kaidan was in the kitchen grabbing something from the fridge.


	4. Unexpected feelings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard has no feelings for Kaidan, he is so sure of it. So why does he take basic news so badly?

Shepard's eyes stared out of the door frame as he saw Kaidan in the fridge. His skin crawling as he rolled out of bed to grab his towel and wipe himself down quickly, covering himself up. " Uhmmm, grab a beer for me, if you would." Shepard's cheeks glowing a ruby red as he thought over what had just happened. Kaidan's head was pulled out of this fridge, the cold seemingly having no affect on him. Kaidan looked over at Shepard and held up a can, tipping the can to the left and right. " Will this one do?" Shepard nodded quickly, taking a step into the living room, his bare feet slapping onto the cold hard wood before he quickly stepped onto an old rugged covered in strange patterns. " Thanks." He would say as he stood closer to Kaidan, his cheeks still bright pink. He stretched out a hand to grab the beer but before Shepard could get to it Kaidan pulled back slightly. " Missed a bit..." He said with a mischievous grin. Shepard's face dropped as he could not fathom what he meant, he looked at parts of his skin for water however was cut off by Kaidan's hand rubbing against his damp skin, his finer tips gently gripping the tips of his towel and wiped away the white liquid that hung to his tanned stomach. Kaidan winked slightly towards Shepard, tucking the tip of the brown towel back into the tight pull of the rest of the towel. Shepard felt his heart sink into the tips of his toes as this happened. He felt as if his soul had been sucked out of his body. He took a step back, his only attempt to regain normal conversation was to talk about the shower. " Oh...... But..... Uhmm." Shepard stuttered which only caused his nervs to grow, the shade of his skin deepening further as his mind fell in on itself. Shepard spun on his heel, looking at the painting on his wall trying to regain confidence to speak to the man again. He then thought in his head, Shit, doesn't this make me seem rude? Yes! Oh god, he just.... Shepard turned to face the man before him, the same man who was now leaning on his back leg, his arms crossed and a wicked smile plastered on his face, the same face Shepard couldn't take his eyes. " I was..... Wondering if you..... Were uhmm wanting to go for a shower before the journey?" Kaidan chuckled, his eyes dancing other the still pretty much naked man in front of him. His lips parting in a perfect form to speak to Shepard. " Nah, you mentioned the motel? If you could drive me there, I could have a shower and then you could... Show me around town?"

Shepard nodded his head furiously at this. "Okay... I will go and get changed. If you want a drink or anything just grab it from one of the cupboards." He nodded to Kaidan before quickly turning walking away to his room and shutting the door behind him. Meanwhile, Kaidan had stared at his ass for the entire escapade. Shepard lent against the door after shutting it quickly. His knees nearly buckling under their own weight, his mind exploding with thoughts and feelings that he never had however all boiling down to one central thought. I don't even like men, why would I be feeling like this? His eyes darting around the room, locating the red shirt and blue jeans that were thrown casually on the old tattered bed. He quickly ran over to a wooden chest of draws and pulled open one of the draws, his eyes hunting down boxers which were quickly located and pulled out by his shaking hand and were also thrown onto the bed with ease. He turned around to face the clothes on the bed. A new thought coming into his mind, should I get dressed into nicer clothes for him? He slapped himself around the face before whispering. " Come on, you know you're not like that. Just stick them on and lets go." He grabbed his red shirt and stared at it, his eyes scanning it before throwing it into a small wooden wicker basket which sat in the corner of his room for washing. He opened his old wooden wardrobe and pulled out a blue buttoned-down shirt. He then reached down and picked up a folded pair of blue jeans. He grabbed the old clothes and threw them into the wicker basket. He huffed knowing he was making an effort for a guy he had met only this morning, the same guy who he had fantasized about, the same guy who just.... He shook these thoughts out of his head and gripped his towel, pulling it off and wiping around his manhood to ensure that his body was completely dry. He then grabbed the grey boxers and slid them on, forgetting they were slightly too small for him but he again just patted this out of his head. He grabbed his jeans and slid them over his legs, he had to brush the hairs on his legs down so that they would slide up. He buttoned them together before resting his hands onto his waist. He sighed in the darkened room, turning quickly, gripping the nearby curtains and throwing them open. He then turned around the face the mirror and checked himself out, he stood side ways pressing his right hand onto his flat stomach while looking over his left shoulder at the mirror. His fingers ran through the gaps in his muscles, closing his eyes again picturing another's, picturing Kaidan's hand... No! He checked himself out in the mirror some more before sliding on his blue button-down shirt and doing up the buttons. He smiled, for the first time in... forever. He looked under his bed and pulled out his black trainers and slid them onto his feet. He decided that he looked good, he smiled and walked over to the door. He opened the door and looked out at the living room. He stepped out and saw Kaidan sitting on the sofa, his head resting on the arm. He drew closer to investigate, his head arching over the back of the sofa to see Kaidan's eye sealed shut. " Really? " He said with a small grin.

"Boo!" Before Shepard could do anything, Kaidan had jumped up and shouted in his face. Kaidan's face instantly grew red with laughter and his eyes watering up as Shepard flew backwards off of his legs landing flat on his ass. He glared back up at Kaidan, his eyes just staring at him as he burst into fits of laughter. Shepard cheeks once again grew a dark red as he thought over this. Kaidan did eventually leaned forward to offer a hand for Shepard to help up with. When Shepard gripped his hand he discovered he had a very strong grip and course but somehow soft. Shepard pulled himself back onto his feet and began to check over the situation. With Kaidan awake, they were ready to go. " So, shall we make our way to the Motel?" Shepard asked questioningly, he hadn't really socialised with anyone around town and to say that he was entirely comfortable with this would be a complete lie. He walked over to the hanger and grabbed his black leather jacket sliding it over the top of his blue shirt. He turned back to see Kaidan now standing behind him, a small smile peaking on his lips as they just shared a look at each other. " We are taking the mustang, it will be probably the smoothest ride." He said with a chuckle, however Kaidan responded with only a wink and a small laugh. Moments after, the joke would settle on Shepard and he would reach up to rub his temples as he was taken by the laughter. Shepard opened the door to the outside world now, Kaidan walked out first and looked at the Sun which was now high in the sky. Kaidan grabbed his shirt and began wafting himself. " Strange, after being out here for a few weeks, I'm still not used to this." He chuckled slightly as Shepard shut the door and locked it. Shepard walked over the dry mud towards the large metal shed with the word "Mechanics" Stapled on top in large red metal letters. He unlocked a blue door, the paint peeling slightly, and walked in. He flicked a switch and the door slowly opened revealing the black mustang with red pinstripe. Kaidan's jaw dropped as he saw this. Shepard smiled slightly and tapped the bonnet twice in proud ownership. " Built her myself, well I saw by myself. Cortez helped me. He's the local fire-fighter and my rival engine around these parts." He finished it with a small smile indicating it was nothing. He reached down and slid his key in, turning it and then pulling it out. The door was then pulled open, no squeak of rust to be heard as he slumped inside. Kaidan walked around during this towards the passenger door and slumped inside. The pure black leather seats moulded around his back in pure bliss as he sat there. Kaidan was nearly speechless. " Wow, you did this? You couldn't pay for this type of quality." He chuckled before Shepard looked over and smiled. " That's not even the best part."

He flicked the keys forward and the engine roared into life instantly. The loud growl of the engines erupted into the mechanic as the muscle-car sped off onto the road. The town was very sparse, few houses and few shops but nothing more than that. As they travelled further out into town the road became more and more empty, with that grew the conversation. " So, where you from Kaidan?" Shepard asked with genuine interest. " Vancouver, Canada. Lived there with my mother and my father run a vineyard, I guess I didn't like the job and so I decided to take a road trip." Kaidan said with a small nod, being the first time he had really ever though over it in his head. Shepard then grasped at another question. " On a road trip? Road trip to where?" Again he spoke with interest, his eyes flicking up the mirror every now and then just to see him sitting there, just to watch a little. " No where really. I guess I have just been running south ever since, never really coming off the main road when I can avoid it until now." He said with a small sigh. " But, I never stay in one place too long. I feel like the past is catching up with me. I will be out of here tomorrow morning most likely." Kaidan continued to speak however Shepard blanked it from then on. He felt a large knot grow in his throat just at the mention of him leaving which confused him beyond relief since he felt no feelings for him, well though he didn't. " So err, here's the motel." Shepard said abruptly, turning the wheel to pull into the parking lot. When they came to a stop Shepard looked over. " I should leave you here to get settled, I will bring your bike on the pick-up in a bit alright?" Kaidan nodded and smiled, he placed a hand on the handle, this could be the last time he sees Shepard. The last time he leaves the safety of this car and also the first. He pushed the door open and walked away to the reception to book a room. Shepard watched him walk away and out of sight, another person walking out of my life. He thought as he pulled out of the drive and turned to go home. On the way, he drove in silence, a single tear ran down his face as he did so.


	5. The slow ride...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the huge wait, hope you can forgive me. I know that this chapter is ever so slightly shorter but I wanted to leave more suspense for the next one. As always, leave a comment and a Kudos if you enjoyed. : - )

Shepard gripped his steering wheel tightly, his eyes practically swimming in the tears which had been created over something so minor. _Come on Shepard, you have had worse._ His thoughts running through his head as he wiped his tears with a solitary hand. He watched as the barren view floated by, a five minute drive feeling like the road to nowhere as he struggled to keep his mind focused on anything other than what had just happened. He felt his right pocket vibrate slightly and his hand slipped in to find the source and his hand emerged with his old phone. He saw the name " Tali" Plastered across the screen. He pressed the green button and took a deep breath before putting the phone to his ear. " Hello?"

Tali seemed to wait a moment before speaking, the sounds of page flicking echoed gently through the speaker and indicated that she was probably working somewhere. Her thick Russian accent coming through as she spoke. " Hey Shepard. Just to let you know that I am locking up soon, Miranda and Jacob looked after Normandy when you apparently ran off with mr handsome Canadian. You have to tell me everything." Tali spoke with such happiness that seemed to make even Shepard grin slightly. But with the question came the thoughts, did he really want to explain what had happened to her? " He seems like a really nice guy. I am gunna' bring his bike to him later because he is on his way." A slight sniffle came from Shepard's side of the line after he spoke. The sound of shuffling blurred through as Tali picked up the phone and took it off of loud-speaker. " What's up Shepard? You don't sound too good.." Shepard shook his head... He pressed a button and he put his end onto loud speaker so that he could drive properly. " Nothing Tali... It's just... Nothing." Tali went silent for a moment, Shepard assumed she had nothing else to say with him refusing to speak and so he put the phone against his ear once more. " Hello?" He asked as if in some attempt to start a casual conversation with her. She dropped the phone,  a scream on her end would echo through the phone before the distinctive laugh of Deputy Vakarian.

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle to himself about that and brought the phone  in front of his face once more to end the call. He pulled the phone away and slid his eyes back onto the road. Panic filled his body as he saw that another car was coming right in front of him, he swerved to try and avoid the  oncoming vehicle but failed to correct the spin in time. With the breaks clamping down at the front and the rear still at the same speed the front of the car tipped over and flipped onto it's roof before rolling down the side of the road. The other, a small black car of some description kept on going as if it didn't see what had happened.

Silence... Void of anything. The occasional clicking of the wheel spinning round and around. Shepard only saw black until the flickering of blue lights over his head. Red beams that shot across the clear blue sky and twanged like sheets of metal. A deep male voice shouted out to him. " Shepard! Shepard! It's Anderson, come on let's get you out of there. Reapers got us pinned down." Shepard felt his breathing grow faster, he had no idea what was going on. Reapers, pinned down, Anderson.. What did this all mean? He went to lift up his hand but couldn't move. A voice ringing through his mind.. A smooth Canadian accent filling his head as his neck folded to the right. "Shepard.." He saw the woman from before... His vision faded once more and he was in a hospital room with strange creatures looking over his body... The name tag " Mordin" being the only thing he could focus on before seeing the Canadian once more. His black hair.. Brown eyes.. Kaidan. He went to reach out for him but his mind was consumed by a sudden darkness.... The gentle beeping of heart rate monitors echoing through his empty mind.

 


	6. The same blur day after day..

Shepard's eyes slowly fluttered open, a burning white glow coming from each of the walls as his eyes just drifted from one to the other. The only thing in his mind that he could focus on was the constant beeping. He let his eyes drift down to white bed which engulfed his tired body. He could feel himself try to move but to no avail, a blur of a black shirt resting in the corner of the room. His heavy eye lids squint as he tries to focus on this solitary darkness in the crystalline room. His heavy head rises off of the pillow for a brief moment but soon found his head weighing more than his battered body could handle, he fell back onto the pillow and awoke wide awake in a dark hilly area. He stood up, black armour engulfed him and in his arms was a strange looking weapon. Everything was silent, his heart racing as he thought over where he was. Red bolts of light whizzing past his head, his neck twisting to face the source  before his heavy lids slammed closed again only to awaken back in the room.

Again, the room was pure white in appearance, a green plant next to his bed being noticeable through near closed eyes. Again he drifted to look at the other end of the room. His mind was able to define things now, a thin black rectangle against the wall probably being the door.. The blue probably windows but the black smudge that sat in the same seat again, it was moving, a person? He tried to lift his head to face whatever this was but his eyes lids slammed shut once more. He was rolling around in mud now, his heavy armour restricting his movements as the ever silent battlefield drifted in front of him. He stood up once again, nothing he could see was describable save for the whizzing blue and red beams of light. His gun no longer in his arms as he looked around, then he fell to his knees. His hands and head lowering to explore his chest before noticing the crimson liquid running against the N7 logo. With that he fell forwards into the muddy ground.

His eyes flashed open, staring around the room he was now in. Beep...Beep... Beep... He stared at the heart rate monitor as the small green line leaped occasionally. He reached up to touch the screen with his right hand, interested in the small light when suddenly he heard a rushed voice from the end of his bed. " Ah, Shepard is awake must run tests should do that now no wait must check stimulus." The rushing of feet suddenly followed before a man was standing right in front of Shepard. Long white coat hugging his strangely thing form. Then he felt a hand on his eye lid forcing him to see the whole room for a brief moment. " Hello Shepard I am doctor Mordin Solus. You have been out cold for a few days now after accident but do not worry you seem to be making a speedy recovery. A guest has been at the door waiting he was in here but he had to sit outside during testing do you want me to send him in. Tall man broad shouldered." Shepard's mind was a buzz of information _accident... Speedy recovery.... Out cold for days?_ Then the description of the male _Tall and broad-shouldered. Well Garrus would be impressed with that description._ He thought to himself as he gently nodded. He felt like he had fought a bull and lost.

Mordin nodded before rushing to the door and leaving, a very quick sound of mumbling followed this as Shepard pushed himself up onto the bed so that he was in a sitting position, he looked to his left and saw a reflective piece of metal and saw his face was covered in cuts and bruises. _God, I look a mess. Maybe I did fight a bull._ He said to himself with a small chuckle which forced him to wince slightly. He then heard the handle to the door shake and so turned to face it, he thought to himself about what he was going to say to Garrus.. How was he going to describe this to the deputy.. Then the door swung open. " Hey G.... Kaidan?" He took a deep breath in as he scanned Kaidan's frame. It was really him... The black shirt, could Kaidan have really been here this whole time? " You look a mess..." Shepard spoke with little enthusiasm but chuckled afterwards as he saw the unkempt stubble and hair on the Canadian male before him.

The distinct rumble of a laugh rung out from Kaidan's lips with a small grin which grew on his rough jaw line. " And you look so much better.." Kaidan walked over to the bed and sat on the edge next to Shepard. A stern face growing on him as he scanned all of the injuries on his face. " I kept watching you slip in and out of consciousness, I felt so useless just watching." Kaidan spoke with slight regret as Shepard felt his heart sink. Shepard turned to face him. " I don't know what happened... I just remember seeing blurs and lights." Kaidan shook his head slightly before speaking. " I was so worried about you.... I have been here for four days straight, the second I heard about the accident I cam straight here." Shepard was taken back by this. _F_ _our days?_ _How could I have been here for the long?_ " Are you trying to say I was here for four days? I can't believe it... I thought you were moving on to another town anyway?" Shepard stopped abruptly when he felt a warm hand join with his, he looked down at the hands before looking back up to Kaidan's face, he could swear he saw a small tear forming in the corner of Kaidan's eye. Kaidan went to wipe it away before smiling and looking back. " I couldn't leave you like this could I?" Shepard chuckled slightly, he felt bad for having put Kaidan through all of the stress. He looked back up, he felt a lump grow in the back of his throat as he looked up at Kaidan, his lips parting to speak but like a claw pulling his tongue down he couldn't get out the words.

Shepard looked down at the ground before taking a deep breath and looking back up to stare into Kaidan's brown eyes... He felt entranced nearly as he just looked into them. " I.. I didn't mean... to put you ... through everything. You shouldn't have stayed back for me..." Then he was forced to stop speaking as he felt the other males lips press against his. He felt like he should probably pull back but he didn't, instead he just let this male have his way. Shepard felt his and Kaidan's tongue dance in his mouth. Slowly they mutually parted, resting each others foreheads against one another. Kaidan smiled before speaking once more. " I guess I had  something holding me here.." Shepard smiled before he felt a silky tear run down his cheek. He went to speak again. " But.. How long have you?  You know.. Liked me?" Kaidan chuckled lightly as this question and pulled back slightly looking into Shepard's eyes. " Ever since I spoke to you in the Café, I just wasn't sure how much... Now I know." Kaidan leaned in and stole another kiss from Shepard's lips before leaning back and facing Shepard with a large grin. " Doc says you'll be ready to leave some time tomorrow, you think you're ready to leave this place?" Shepard laughed slightly, he was in pure bliss and the large grin accenting his ruby red cheeks. " I have never been more ready for something.." Shepard said leaning back against the board, his mind running wild.

 _Will be and Kaidan be together? Is this meant to be? Only time will_ _tell...._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoys it. This one Is slightly shorter than what I plan to write as it's just in hospital. Just in case anyone wants to know, the word " Felt" Is used the same amount of times as the word "Kaidan."


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